


it seemed like a good idea at the time

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, F/F, Oral Sex, Smut, i have no idea what i've done, yeah i'd say crack i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 03:15:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4123695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ymir wants to try something new and Historia is stupid enough to say yes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it seemed like a good idea at the time

Ymir was avoiding things. Avoiding everything, really. She had countless things she should be doing. Instead of doing anything productive, she’d started flipping through what was probably the trashiest romance novel she had ever seen, and snickering.

She’d planned on getting things done, really she had.  But then, when she’d started to straighten up she’d come across the book.

It was one of those cheap paperbacks you could find at grocery store checkouts. And, also buy at said grocery store checkout if you weren’t too embarrassed.

It was pretty obvious how it had come to be sitting next to Ymir’s couch. She only knew one person who wouldn’t be too embarrassed to buy a book like that, and that person had just spent a week sleeping on that very couch.

Ymir hadn’t really thought that Annie was the lesbian erotica type, but this was the girl who used to play Boys’ Love games in class, so Ymir wasn’t exactly surprised either.

What did surprise her was the abysmal quality of the writing. Annie seemed like the type of person who expected her smut to be quality. Apparently Ymir was wrong about that.

_She lapped at me like I was a cunt flavoured ice-cream cone._

That was the line that made Ymir lose it. That was the most decidedly un-sexy thing you could possibly write. How did people come up with this shit? And why were they allowed to publish it?

Ymir flipped over a few more pages, skimming to see if there was anything better than that line. She highly doubted there would be.

And then…

_I shivered with pleasure when her tongue gently stroked my cervix._

Oh, dear god, this author was joking, right? Or had Ymir missed the bit where they mentioned that one of the women had a freakishly long lizard tongue? Not that that was the extent of her issues with the sentence. The last time anything had “stroked” Ymir’s cervix had been during a Pap test, and that had been far from pleasant.

Ymir was convinced at that point that the author did not possess a vagina, nor had they ever seen one. She was also convinced that Annie’s next birthday present would have to be some quality literature. Or maybe just a lot of alcohol.

She was about to just put down the book before it further destroyed her faith in humanity and Annie’s taste, but then something caught her eye.

_moved her leg up my chest_

That sounded potentially painful. The full sentence didn’t make it sound any less painful, or any more sensical.

_I slowly moved her leg up my chest, pushing us closer than before._

_Her legs now wide open, I began to move my hips against her, grinding our clits together._

Ymir’s face contorted into what would best be described as a look of disgusted concern.

She couldn’t be sure, and in all honesty the author probably wasn’t sure either, but it seemed like one of the women was doing the splits. If you assumed that some kind of front splits were involved, the whole thing made a bit more sense. The key word there being “bit.”

That’s when Ymir’s mind did something that she really wished it hadn’t.

Historia could do the splits.

And suddenly, with that fact pulled up to the front of her mind, Ymir couldn’t help but think maybe they should try this out.

Not because it seemed like it would be good. It seemed like an absolutely awful idea, and was sure to end up with neither of them getting off, but Ymir was _curious_. Would this seemingly absurd position actually work?

So, that’s why, hours later, when Historia was straddling Ymir’s hips and kissing down her neck, Ymir asked her to stop. And then she pulled out the book, hoping that it didn’t absolutely kill the mood. (Historia later told her that it really did and that the next time Ymir had a stupid idea like that she could try it out on her own.)

“Hey babe, you wanna try something different?”

She was trying to be smooth, trying to make up for the fact that she was holding trash-in-book-form in one of her hands.

From the look on Historia’s face, it was clear that she wasn’t having any of it.

It was definitely the book. Ymir definitely should have asked _before_ pulling out the book. But she couldn’t change that now. Now was the time to attempt to explain.

“Okay, so just hear me out. This isn’t mine by the way. I think it’s Annie’s. Anyway, not the point.”

Historia was looking more and more unimpressed by the second. Right after Ymir mentioned Annie, Historia began to re-button her shirt, which was _not_ what Ymir wanted. It was actually the opposite of what she was going for.

“There’s just this position I want to try,” she managed to get out.

Historia didn’t just get up and leave the room, so that was good. But she did look kind of wary as she pointed to the book still in Ymir’s hand and asked “From _that_?”

Ymir nodded. Then she took a deep breath and started again.

“Okay, I don’t think it’s going to work but I want to know and you can do the splits and I just thought we could try it but if you don’t want to I can just eat you out or something I’m sorry I brought it up I love you Historia please just don’t do up any more buttons.”

Not exactly what she had wanted to say, but the main points were buried in there.

Historia looked more confused than anything at that point.

“I can…do the splits? What does that have to do with anything?”

Ymir was running low on words. She decided to just read the passage to Historia. Then she’d know what Ymir was talking about and she could decide

Historia laughed through the entire thing, and Ymir found it hard to read on because her girlfriend’s laugh was the cutest thing in the world, and also highly contagious.

But, when Historia had calmed down enough to actually get proper words out, she said they should give it a try.

“I’m not caressing your chest with my foot though,” she clarified, “I’ll get into the splits and then you can try to do whatever that even was. Good?”

Ymir nodded her assent.

It was less about sex at that point, and more about _what the fuck was that author thinking?!_

In what was probably the most boring way they had ever got naked together, they each quickly undressed themselves. Historia still couldn’t stop laughing, and that set Ymir laughing too. The whole thing was absolutely ridiculous.

When they were both completely undressed, Historia gave Ymir a quick peck on the lips, then climbed onto the bed. Ymir stood near the foot of the bed, not wanting to get in the way while Historia got into the splits.

“This is so stupid,” Historia said between giggles, “It’s weird doing this on such a soft surface.”

Ymir figured that being completely naked while doing the splits was a bit weird too.

But she managed it. Of course she managed it, Historia was perfect. Even the bit when she repositioned herself so she was on her side was done gracefully.

The thing was, could Ymir do her part? It all just seemed so absurd. What had been a funny idea in her mind seemed like an absolutely horrible idea now that they were actually trying it. Poor Historia was lying on the bed in what looked like a very uncomfortable position, and Ymir was supposed to just start grinding against her? So weird.

“Are we doing this?” Historia asked.

She sounded far from impressed, which was understandable given the bizarre position she was in.

“You’re sure you’re okay with this?”

Ymir didn’t have a very good view of Historia’s face, but she was definitely rolling her eyes. Definitely.

“You’re asking _now_? Yes, I’m okay with this. I wouldn’t be in this stupid position if I wasn’t.”

Yes, that was true. Historia didn’t do things if she didn’t want to.

Okay, it was happening.

Ymir climbed onto the bed, trying her best not to make it move at all as she moved closer to Historia. She got herself situated so she was lying next to Historia, as face to face as could be managed given the situation.

“Right, so…” Ymir trailed off, hoping Historia would take that as a sign to say something.

“Should you maybe try putting one leg kind of…” Historia placed a hand on Ymir’s left leg and gently pulled it toward herself, “here? Like over my leg?”

Ymir put her leg properly over Historia’s and just stayed there, completely unsure of what to do next.

“What now?”

“You’re the one who read the book, you should know.”

“Um, I guess I should start moving? Like a kind of up and down thing?”

Historia nodded. “Whatever you think.”

It was a really awkward position, and Ymir couldn’t move much. It didn’t help that she was sort of worried about breaking her girlfriend. It wasn’t so much that Historia was fragile (because she definitely wasn’t), just that she was only so flexible and Ymir didn’t want to push her any more.

(Of course her number one concern was Historia’s well-being, but Ymir also really, really didn’t want this to end in an astoundingly embarrassing trip to the emergency room.)

She moved her hips in a kind of circular motion, which just made her feel like an idiot. Probably because she was an idiot.

She was an idiot, and Historia was…laughing?

“This is worse than our first time.”

Ymir wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Historia was right, of course, but Ymir felt like it was too early to admit defeat.

She tried moving a bit more, but stopped when Historia put a hand on her chest.

“Okay, that’s it. Get off.”

Ymir rolled to the other side of the bed, giving Historia sufficient room to bring her legs back together. It had only been a couple of minutes, but it was probably really nice to just sit on the bed like a normal person.

Ymir crawled back to sit next to Historia, and wrapped her arms around her.

“I’m sorry. Bad idea. What do you wanna do now? I bought a daiquiri mix, if you—”

Historia cut her off, apparently not so thrilled with the idea of daiquiris.

“I said get off. I didn’t say we were done.”

“Okay. Daiquiris can wait.”

“Stop thinking about daiquiris and sit on the edge of the bed.”

Ymir did as she was told and Historia moved to kneel on the floor by Ymir’s legs.

“Wouldn’t you rather do something where it’s both of us?”

Historia shook her head. “I’ve spent enough time today with my legs open, thanks. I can do it myself.”

Ymir didn’t bother arguing. She knew she would never win anyway. Besides, it wasn’t like she was totally opposed to the way Historia wanted to do things.

She let Historia push her legs apart.

It was clear that Historia was more than a little frustrated about the whole thing. Ymir could tell by the way Historia didn’t bother with any of her usual teasing. It was far from a problem, though. Historia’s tongue was doing truly wonderful things to Ymir. At first she was moving all over, but soon enough she decided to focus her attention on Ymir’s clit.

It wasn’t long before Historia’s ministrations pushed Ymir over the edge. Her legs closed slightly around Historia’s head, and Historia pulled away. Ymir hadn’t noticed before, but now she could tell that Historia was working a couple of fingers in and out of herself.

She was a bit breathless when she spoke.

“Hah. That was quick. Did you actually like that thing we were trying?”

Apparently no teasing before meant there was a different kind of teasing afterward.

Ymir was about to get down on the floor and help Historia out when Historia let out a cute little “ah” sound and her hand stilled.

Historia wasted no time in standing up and going to grab their clothes from where they’d left them. She threw clothes at Ymir.

“I’m going to get cleaned up,” she announced as she started to make her way to the bedroom door, “Make some daiquiris while I do?”

Ymir nodded.

“Oh, and Ymir?” she added as she was about to leave the room, "Remind me to ask Annie to make sure she doesn’t forget her awful books here.”

The “because my girlfriend is an idiot and will get some stupid ideas from them” was implied.

Ymir nodded again.

Historia smiled and disappeared from view.

And Ymir found herself wondering if maybe they’d done it just a little differently…

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ymir and I:  
> -are big gay losers  
> -thought this was a good idea but are not so sure now  
> -have better things to do with our lives


End file.
